Snapshots...

With a relatively symptomless pregnancy, I rely on Dr's appointments to remind that even as I go about my days as normal, I am indeed growing a baby. The moments listening to the babies heartbeat are some of the most precious I have experienced. That heartbeat that is becoming so familiar always fills me with such excitement, but to see the baby? To see the tiny form, fingers and toes attached to a tiny body, that would be incredible.

Of course the Ultrasound was excitedly anticipated, as I'm sure it is with ever mother, and at almost 22 weeks it finally came around. In the days preceding it, the scan was all that occupied my mind. Would the baby be healthy? How big would it be? Would we be able to make out details? Would we be able to see arms and legs, fingers and toes? Maybe we would be able to discover the gender! The reality was so much greater than I imagined.

Ryan and I were escorted into the exam room. I laid down as usual and unveiled my stomach. They technician warned us that a lot of what we would see probably wouldn't make any sense to us; she would be doing cross sections and taking measurements and from our perspective, the images probably wouldn't look like much. Looking back, I'm not sure why she felt the need for the introduction.

Looking at the screen in front of me, I held my breath as the tech found the baby. First I saw only blackness. Suddenly, there was a baby. Curled up tightly, feet almost touching a face. Arms bent and elbows tucked in. A little ball of a being that made me laugh with delight to see. A close up on the babies head as the tech measures a skull. A tiny mouth opens, closes and opens again. Adorable. Ryan and I looked at each other, holding one anothers hands, and laughed, amazed that we were seeing our child.

Another angle, and a glimpse at feet. Tiny, miniature, impossibly small. Tiny bones that glow. Zoom out and a view of the babies leg, slightly bent, looking like a miniature replica of the real thing. The position moves again to show hands, clenched into tiny fist. Arms so small and dainty, delicate wrists. Zoom out and we get to see the babies whole body. It amazed me that we could watch a tiny heart beating. I could watch movements that I couldn't yet feel as an arm shifted position, or a leg bent and then straightened.

I felt like a mother for the first time as I watched the babies mouth open, laughing a how adorable it was. Probably its too early to tell and probably I'm crazy, but I felt like I could already see some of Ryan's features looking back at me in that tiny face. How cute to have a little baby that looks just like daddy. I felt like a mother and not simply pregnant in those moments. I felt an attachment to that new life long before the baby even has any consciousness of me. Or maybe the baby can hear my voice, and my heartbeat and knows me too. Just a little.

"Would you like to know the gender?" the technician asked us.
Ryan and I looked at each other excitedly. "If we can we'd love to!"

A new angle altogether and we learn that we're having a baby girl. Tentatively. "You're not as far along as the Dr thought, so I reserve the right to change my mind, but it's a girl." Baby Charlotte. We were elated. A little girl. What fun we'd have. I found myself thinking of the fun things we'd do together, of her Daddy playing with her, of her beautiful little smile. A girl. I felt more and more like a mother with each moment. My daughter.

The news that I was almost a month behind my due date didn't even register in my excitement. Of course, a 44 week pregnancy doesn't seem overly wonderful now that I think of it, though there is a plus side. In 4 weeks I get to have the ultrasound all over again. I get to see how much our little girl has grown. I get to watch her movements once again, and as I do I know it will only make me more excited for the days when I get to watch them in person as I hold her in my arms.

It is probably fair to say that these pictures are only adorable to prospective parents, but here are some of her snapshots for your perusal: